Antonie Hofmanová

“I felt very sorry for a woman, one of those who collaborated with the Germans. She was so tiny and so decrepit. And I had such a feeling when I looked at her that nobody liked her. So I went to stroke her head and I kissed her. She was all het up about it. Well, then I got to know that she had something to do with cats and she went to say that to the Germans. And they set someone in prison then. So, she caused this... She couldn't come to terms with her neighbours, it was something that their cat and her cat... So it was such a tip off, it was not so morally bad... So I think that the last days of her imprisonment, that she was pleased that I acted in the way I did.”

“They came for me at the same time in one year, on December 17th, 1952. And they came at my parents' and took my sister too. They took us in the evening. I think they didn't want to experience such an arrest ever again because my dad showed them an old cross in front of which he used to pray when he came home from the First World War. And our whole family prayed whenever we went anywhere. So we knelt down and we prayed. They were standing restless in the corner of the room; they wanted to get outside in their fur coats. Then they were supposed to take us to Hradec with them and we would be released again. Our dad went outside to give them a good talking to, about their being good with us, that their third daughter was already in the cemetery and that the two of us were their treasures, so that they wouldn't do us any harm, etc... But first, when they were knocking at our door, our dad went to open it and (there was some kind of a peephole in the door) we understood they were State Security officers. And we had printed worker catechism a lot, it's title was Kvas v těstě (Leaven in the Dough). So we stuffed it all in the stove; we burnt it all. And we let them in only when it was burnt. And they said: 'Where is the print?' So we showed them that it had just been burnt.”

“There came a woman comrade and she said that she was complaining. She had a young husband who was seriously ill and there came a priest to visit him. So she wanted to know who called the priest. There came even two State Security men to investigate it. They went to an employee about whom they knew to be his comrade. And he said: ' Well, you see, Tonička does it in the way that when a patient feels bad she sits next to him or her and prays and the person feels the pain ease.' In fact I tried to have absolute compassion with them... 'And once what happened, someone was howling with pain, Tonička was not here and I wanted to help him. However, I had no idea how. So I called the rectory and the priest came.' So they saw there that it was not from my source. And I think that those whom I helped to depart to God interceded on behalf of me that I slipped out of the trouble so easily. There was no other investigation then.”

“I remembered two things. That I must not be afraid because if you are afraid, as Karel who used to come among us used to say to us, that fear will paint things blacker than they are. And if you stop being afraid they can't do anything. So I tried to experience that all the time: not to be worried. And then I found out that it would be great to joke, to make up a joke. And because I watched the film U nás v Kocourkově (At Our Place in Kocourkov) before and there escaped some prisoners and they were going round on a merry-go-round, I said to myself: Well, there is such a merry-go-round there so I... I simply have to come up with a joke. So he asked me if I was single so I said no, I was married – no, divorced – no, so if I lived in a concubinage – no. 'Damn it, harridan, what are you then?' - 'Well, I'll be free when I'm out, if there is freedom out there.' And I saw the corner of his mouth twitching a bit, that he found it quite funny. So I said to myself: That will work. So I'll be making up jokes here and now...”

“In the end I was told that they would allow me to teach religion. It was a great joy. It was towards the end of the war and life was very hard then because there was nothing left anywhere. And I didn't even want to say at home that catechists were paid just once in half a year according to the mileage to particular schools and such. So I was basically penniless. And I said to myself that I wanted to try if I could live totally without money in that world. So I was looking for somewhere to live. Somebody gave me a piece of advice that there was a woman at the end of Bydžov; she was said to put up teachers. She had a little room, it was frozy though, but one could sleep in there. So I went to her and I said I had no money but needed to live somewhere. And she told me: 'I like you. You can speak in a nice way and I can't sleep at night. If you come and pay me company at night, then you can live at my place for free.' So I was very happy. I went to entertain her and I didn't have to pay the rent. However, it was worse with food then. I didn't know that I could contact the bishopric. I thought that bishops had no authority to interfere in this when the state decided who was going to teach religion or who was going to be paid. There was an advantage though, that it was such a rich region. Children had a very good time there. They had great snacks at school, different kinds of meat, sausages and I don't know what else and they didn't finish it. So when the children left I picked it all up and I ate it. I did it like that for at least a half a year. I drank water at home so I somehow survived those times.”

“Well, they simply said that I was a fanatic and that the priests made me grow idiotic. And they mentioned it at the trial and I don't know if it was the judge or who actually asked me: 'Where does your faith come from? Ordinary people usually do not have such faith.' He said: 'Say the truth, which priest made you grow idiotic!' And I said: 'Well, my parents did. They used to read to us about the lives of the saints in the evening and we just loved it. Our dad didn't weave any more. I also loved stories about faith martyrs and I used to say to myself: 'Lord Jesus, I would like to suffer because of faith too. But I've got bad luck, our nation will not descend in order to imprison people because of that and I will not be able to experience that.' Then the judge knew where my faith came from.”

“There came a new examining officer and he told me: 'It's going to be a year and a while since we have examined you and your protocol is not yet ready. You can't still undergo the trial because you are not able to cooperate with us so I have to take over. But first and foremost I am telling you that there is no God, that priests made it all up.' I intensively prayed to the Holy Spirit at that moment so that he gave me the sentence that the man just needed to hear. So I calmed down a lot and he waited to see if I would say something. And then I said calmly: 'Sir Commander, there is a God. You wouldn't be able to open your mouth, move your tongue nor scold Him without His help.' There was dead silence and he did such a circle around me. He went away and didn't return ever again.”