Zsuzsanna Gyenes

„We left right away in the night. But I kept telling – I don’t know, it seemed I had a better sense of orientation – I repeated that „guys, this isn’t the good direction! The Moon isn’t going in this way. The Moon is going int hat way.” And we went on. I might have found the right way, myself, than they. But they replied that it was the right direction, they asked me not to grumble at the back that we were going int he bad direction when we were going as we were told. If we had gone where I told them then there wasn’t any problem. The borderline was like this… and here there was a bend. Q.: There was a projection there. A.: Right. We stopped. We had crossed a meadow, we arrived in a small wood, we fortunately passed everything we had to. And then before us, it was about 200 or 500 meters ahead, we saw a house. There was a house and people who moved there. „They must be Austrians!” – we told. I myself wasn’t so sure about it. I stopped with the woman who had joined us, we stopped and the two men, Laci and the other man, mainly the other said: „let’s go on, let’s see it!” And they left us there. Q.: Was Gyapay also with you? A.: No, he wasn’t. He got frightened, and he went back to Budapest from Győr. He wasn’t disposed to walk. We waited and waited, but they didn’t return. Why on earth didn’t they come back? We talked to each other with this woman quite loudly. Suddenly we were told: „Hands up!” There were the border guards who had heard us. They knew that we had arrived there together with the man they had caught. They might have confessed them that we were waiting for them int he wood. We were brought to the house… The border was in this projection, and there was a small border station there. If we had gone on the left in the direction of the Moon – the leader of the cooperative was right – we could easily cross the border in the wood. But in this way we reached right this house. Q.: Was it a border house? V.: Yes, it was, there was only a room and the border guards.”

„It was dark by the time we arrived there. We looked for the director of the cooperative. We presented us, we told him our plans. Yes, we told him sincerely who we were. But by that time every cow-sheds… there were a lot of stables and sheds there, it was a big cooperative or state farm, I don’t know it exactly, but there were large buildings and they were full of refugees. The refugees were waiting for the darkness to leave for the border because the Russian controlled with armoured cars the road which linked Sopron with the country. I think it was Sopron. Or Kőszeg? A.: Both towns are on the border.. Q.: Yes, both of them... The Russian shot tracer rockets and those who were seen, were arrested by them. The director informed us, he was very ready to help us. He said „Listen! I suggest you not to leave right away, you should wait a bit. I offer you accomodation and a job. You could work for us in the stables.” It wasn’t at all a bad offer especially for me. I had gotten used to work in the fields since my childhood, I had worked a lot in our land, we did it with great pleasure. Judit above all of us, she was the man agronomist. But Laci didn’t like the idea. „No, if we already…!” – so he was. „If we already decided to go, let’s go!” The director said that „all right, just go, I offered this exclusively for you, I can’t tell it to the others because there are so many people here that I can’t propagate this idea.” Q.: Obviously, he couldn’t offer a job to everybody there. A.: No, he couldn’t. We might have been sympathetic for him. Then he explained that „if you leave, it was completely dark, the sky was full of stars, we should walk in the direction of the Moon! Don’t lose your way, follow the Moon, and you will find a road, it was the main road with the Russian, be careful there, because the Russian patrol the road and they shoot rockets. Lie down if they come and wait them to pass by, run across the road, you will find a small forest there and on the other side of the forest you will arrive to the border.”

„My cousin was to leave Hungary because her husband had already gone to the West and he had arranged everything. „Do you come with me?” I said: „Yes, I do!” I was very embittered, you know, for what had happened around me. Pali was in jail, but Judit didn’t know where he was, and I told to myself that… I didn’t want to escape, but I lost my hope, I saw that it wouldn’t end well! And my cousin asked me then „Do you come with me?” „Well – I hesistated – Laci is still in Pécs.” He would certainly follow me, I thought. Then we left Budapest by train. Q.: Did it happen in the middle of November? A.: Later, it was in December. It was much more dangerous to leave the country then. The friend of my cousin’s husband came to see us in the station in Győr and he informed us that „political policemen pick people off the train!” I got my heart in my boots and I got off the train together with somebody, it was some relative of us, I don’t remember, and we returned to Pest. Thus my first attempt ended in Győr. Q.: Did the others continue their way? V.: Yes, they did and they succeeded to cross the border. I don’t know how they crossed the border or how they avoided the policemen, I don’t know how they managed it.”

„At the end we got a nice certificate. It was written on it that we had gone to the West, we got disgusted of our own free will with the bad capitaism and we decided to return in Hungary of our own accord. Q.: Did you have to sign it? A.: No, we didn’t. We were only given this document which said that we had returned. It was them who signed it, and it was them who escorted us to Győr ’as a favour” and then brought us to Budapest. So we returned to Pest. We were those who had returned because the bad capitalism had disgusted us. It’s a pity I hadn’t got that certificate anymore. I kept it for a time. Otherwise we weren’t pestered. Neither Laci was. It was probably my mother-in-law who arranged the affair. Q.: Could you return home as soon as you were brought back to Budapest? A.: Yes, we could, we were free. Q.: Neither your documents were taken? A.: They were taken, yes, and it was written in… it wasn’t written in it the same that we had returned voluntarely, it was put there „attempt at forbidden emigration”. It was again my mother-in-law who arranged us to have new identity cards where there wasn’t any more this note. Thus this was our attempt at emigration. Q.: Hadn’t got this attempt other negative consequences? A.: Well, it had some. I wasn’t very much favoured when my family connections to Maléter became known. Also my father was in prison in Márianosztra. Originally it was a prison for ordinary criminals but they were brought elsewhere and the political prisoners were kept there. It was the most severe of all. Whereas they hadn’t commit anything. Q.: Yes, I remember, you have already told. Were you taken back to your school? A.: I taught in the same school but it was then that I had to do supply teachings. I couldn’t remain permanently in the same school, I couldn’t teach my class, sometimes I could when I had to substitute, but mostly I taught as a permanent supply teacher in our district.”

„My father was arrested in the meantime. He didn’t commit anything wrong. He being a lawyer was just elected to the national committee, you know. He was in jail, his trial had already begun here in Budapest. Thus our situation seemed hopeless. I kept telling to Laci „let’s go away, Laci! Let’s go! If we don’t like it, we can return! At the worst we will return!” My mother-in-law organized for us a way to leave for Yugoslavia. But Laci didn’t like it at all, I don’t know why. We could easily leave the country that way. We could leave sooner. At the end… Q.: Do you remember the details? Did she find a guide? A.: Yes, she found some guide who knew that region and who would see us to the border. It was my mother-in-law who found him thanks to her connections in the communist party. Q.: Really? It sounds interesting that your mother-in-law who was a party secretary on the one hand, but on the other who helped his son to the high society, assisted you in your leaving the country. Also your husband was willing to leave? A.: In case of him it wasn’t so clear. I was very determined to leave, but I think he wanted too. He also was fed up. Imagine that a young man finished the university, got a good employment here in Budapest and then Rákosi declared that „young engineers can’t work in Pest, they must go to work in the countryside.” He had just married me, I remained in Budapest and he had to leave. Q.: The regime controlled the private life. A.: Yes, it did, very much! He didn’t like it. He didn’t like it at all, nevertheless he was member of the party because my mother-in-law had told him to join the party otherwise he wouldn’t be admitted to the university.”